i love pokemon shaming omg
i think i can accurately say that i can crush a man’s head with my thighs
when your friend finds you after a tv show marathon
|—||A 10-word story (via icy-brunette)|
ppl like “im fat bc of genetics” while they have not a single fruit in their house and their freezer is stock piled with tv dinners
does this threaten you?
how about now
God I bet..
I bet Sam fucking LOVES having guests. So he actually made a fucking massive breakfast for them, and he doesn’t know what these guys eat - Natasha’s tiny, so Sam makes a fruit salad, but then, maybe Steve (who’s huge) likes fruit salad too, so he ends up with a punchbowl full of fruit. But then also waffles and pancakes, and eggs… though who knows how these people eat their eggs? Sam likes scrambled, but he boils some just in case, and sets up a frying pan in case either of them wants fried. Better put some water on to boil in case someone wants poached…. While he has the eggs out, might as well make french toast. But then actually, Natasha’s european, right? They like that weird-ass continental breakfast shit, so he rolls up some little bits of ham and cheese, which looks weird without croissants and muffins and whatnot so he nips out to get some. And some juice. And some tea. And some hair straighteners.
And so Natasha eats a few bits of everything, but Steve… well Steve grew up during a time where you did not waste food - clearing your plate is ingrained in him, so. Yeah, he did have a big breakfast. He had all the breakfast.
And some hair straighteners.
A CUSTOMER CAME INTO THE STORE WITH THIS BEAUTY TODAY AND I SQUEALED A LOT
JESUS CHRIST I HAVE GOTTEN ABOUT 45 MESSAGES PLEASE STOP
Omg i’ll smile forever
id cry from happiness i think
that last gif will be me in 3 hours
edit: I was dead wrong